sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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