she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
