forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
