He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
