You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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