Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
