i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
