Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
