That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I think I just sharted jello shots
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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