so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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