Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
