It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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