Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
vagina is talking i cant
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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