well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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