i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
