it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
