We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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