I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
