I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
