We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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