I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wish I only lived at night.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
