we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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