I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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