stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
