You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
