I just pynch a tree in the face
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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