To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
