Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
In other news, I just burned my penis
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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