I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
