Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
