Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
