is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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