we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
