Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
it's like iHOP with fire
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
