i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
