Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
