I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
