census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
