I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize