Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
