I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
