Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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