it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Randomize
