Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
