So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
