Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
