Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
