i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
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First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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