I CAN MOONWALK!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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