she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
