i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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