i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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