I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
