Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
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My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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