everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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