Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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