do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Sober January is a disaster.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
