just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
