strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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