if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
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do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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