are you so shy because you have an std?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
