when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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