did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
